Operation: Take Out The Trash

Like any family household… simple daily chores are delegated to each member of the family. The ever tedious job of taking out the trash is my brother Ayrton’s daily duty. However, ‘simple’ is not quite the right word to use when describing this mundane task – as of last night. Not when the outside alarm has been prematurely switched on and just so happens to secure the area directly between the front door and the trash-bin located in the garage… And so the mission goes:

Mission: Throw out forgotten orange juice container without triggering the alarm.

Procedure: As my father and I watch this event unfold from the safe distance of the front step… we smirk… silently observing the unique method of leopard crawl my brother has adopted. Orange juice container in hand, he makes his way closer to the alarm system, positioning himself just so, directly underneath the security box, its red laser eye staring straight ahead. At this point, Ayrton decides that he could attempt rolling the orange juice container to the other side of the garage, potentially coming to a gentle stop beside the closed trash-bin.

Still hunched on his elbows and knees, with a flick of his wrist… the orange juice container rolls about 60cm in front of him and then takes a turn for the worst… and rolls underneath the parked car.

My father and I, still standing a distance away, desperately try to contain our laughter while shouting out words of encouragement to Ayrton who is now on his belly under the car, arm out stretched and very gently rolling the orange juice container back out from the shadows.

Finally able to stand up straight, Ayrton begins to shimmy his way along the garage walls, around the cars, towards the trash-bin. My father and I can now only see the lid of the trash-bin slowly tilt open, an orange juice container being wedged through the tiny gap, and then the lid slowly close.

Now, I never said my father and I would be much help… especially when it comes to military style training operations like this… and we weren’t very much help when we suggested that Ayrton not go back the way he came, but rather… make a run for it. It’s at this point that the soft beeping coming from the alarm box signals that the mission should be aborted. The trash has been taken out, but as Ayrton curls up into a ball, the siren sounds, lights flash and the armed response unit pulls up outside. Mission accomplished, but the getaway is an epic fail.

Status: GAME OVER.